Fan It or Douse It: The Fires We Choose

There are two kinds of fire in life.

One we desperately need — to keep us warm, cook our food, light up the dark corners of our ambitions.

And the other kind — the wild ones, like a forest fire, that rage out of control and leave us wondering why we ever played with matches in the first place.

It was a chilly evening at a campsite. One friend was busy fanning the campfire, making sure it didn’t die out. Another, for reasons best known to his adventurous spirit, was busy pouring water on it because “smoke irritates his eyes.”

That’s life in a nutshell. Most of us fan the wrong flames and pour buckets of water on the ones that could have lit our way forward.

Fanning the Flames

Ever noticed how people will keep gossip alive like it’s a sacred duty?

They’ll stoke petty arguments, fan tiny sparks of resentment, and then complain about the heat.

"Many people pour petrol on sparks of trouble but pour water on sparks of talent."

It’s like someone polishing the smoke while ignoring the firewood.

Dousing the Right Fire

On the flip side, when it comes to passion, ideas, or even courage, we often play firefighter.

• Got a new idea? "Nah, won’t work."

• Thinking of learning a new skill? "Too late for me."

• Want to speak up? "What if I get burned?"

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We smother our own sparks faster than a wet blanket in monsoon.

Fire Idioms to Live By

• Don’t add fuel to the fire — especially when the fire is gossip, jealousy, or negativity.

• Fight fire with fire — but only when it’s a healthy competition, not when you’re out to scorch the earth.

• Where there’s smoke, there’s fire — and sometimes, the smoke is your ego pretending it’s a bonfire.

"Life is less about fighting every fire and more about choosing which ones deserve your breath."

The Humour of Heat

Think about it:

• We blow on birthday candles (dousing joy) but blow on coal (fanning heat).

• We invest in extinguishers for buildings but none for WhatsApp groups.

• Some people light a fire under you, others just burn you out.

  
  

The Choice

The progress we make in life depends on a simple decision:

Which fires will we fan?

Which ones will we douse?

Fan your curiosity, your courage, your creativity.

Douse your envy, your excuses, your endless complaints.

"Success isn’t about playing with fire—it’s about choosing the right fire to play with."

So the next time you reach for the bellows or the bucket, pause.

The fire you choose to fan or douse may just decide your future.

Sometimes the real fire to manage isn’t outside — it’s inside. Through my Personal Coaching, I help professionals identify which flames to fan (growth, resilience, clarity) and which to douse (doubt, fear, distractions). If you’ve been dousing your spark instead of fanning it, it’s time to flip the script. In my Impactful Speaking Programme, we fuel your confidence and help you channel your fire where it matters — your voice, your ideas, your stage presence. Ready to fan the right fire? Let’s talk.